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studio thoughts - Being Taken over by the fear

Updated: Mar 16, 2020

If you follow me on Instagram you will probably know that I have been painting frantically lately. I started the year with high expectations and a few deadlines/shows to work towards. I kinda like working to a deadline to be is good for me. It makes sure I don't waste too much time and overthink, but it also leaves me feeling shattered when the work is finished.

When the work is finished, if I am honest, is the part I don't love. Not only am I exhausted, but this is when the insecurity tends to kick in. I have created all of these paintings, the show is booked and paid for, the canvases and art materials bought, paid for and used, the paintings are at the framers and the transport is booked, ready for collection, but, WHAT IF NOBODY LIKES THEM?!! No matter how many paintings you have sold in the past, I don't believe any artist ever gets past the worry that what you have created is completely rubbish and that you might just be that contestant on The X Factor that doesn't realise they can't sing.

Don't get me wrong, I do know that I am so lucky to be able to work, doing something I love, and for me that is a priority in life and choice that I have made. If I am honest, I don't earn a lot of money, even with great painting sales there is not a lot left over after expenses. I certainly haven't reached the stage that can pay myself anything like an hourly rate. I have to have a part-time job on the side, to pay the bills between painting sales. The outlay and risk for artists is also huge. To put work together for a show, an artist has all the expense to cover before a single sale. And they do this knowing that there is always a chance that there might be long gaps between sales. My art has to pay for itself, and if it doesn't I will have to review things. Sometimes it is hard to create under these circumstances, but even so, it always seems worth it. I love being able to call myself an artist.

Anyway enough of my whining :) I am so glad this body of work is done and framed and I do love it myself. I hope you do too xx

All of my new work is on my website, and is being shipped off to Satch & Co in Holbrook, Watershed Gallery in the Hunter Valley and to my joint show with Gina Fishman at The Paisley Street Gallery in Orange...all in NSW.

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