Letting Go of the Outcome

A Mix Tape For the Soul

As this year winds down, I’ve noticed how much it has asked of me, and from conversations with friends and peers, I don’t think I’m alone in that. It hasn’t been an easy year for many of us, perhaps one for surviving rather than thriving, but with its challenges it has been one of deep growth and reflection.

I am currently working on my third solo gallery collection in just over a year. Anyone who’s ever prepared for a solo show will know how insane it was to agree to this pace. After my first show last year, I already knew how crazy the decision was, yet fear—of missing out, of not being able to make a living doing what I love—had me saying yes again. Twice.

By the time I finished my second solo earlier this year, I promised myself (and anyone who would listen) that I wouldn’t do another one in 2025. The pressure I placed on myself—financially, creatively, emotionally—was so intense that at times I wondered if I even wanted to keep painting at all. And to choose this year, of all years, to pile on that pressure?? But here we are again! haha

With each show, the stakes feel a little higher, and the perfectionist in me often wants to take over. The tough times have helped me to let go of that story and lean into accepting what I can do and to keep remembering that the fun is in the creating itself. To help lift my energy I’ve been building a playlist filled with good-vibe tracks from across the decades, and it has become both my studio soundtrack and the spark for my exhibition title: Mix Tape. Just like those old tapes we’d make growing up, the show will be a layering of memories, moods, and rhythms, hopefully a way of connecting the past with the present.

I’ve been reminded again and again that creativity doesn’t always thrive under pressure. The more tightly I try to control the outcome, the further I seem to drift from the heart of why I paint in the first place. It’s in the moments of ease, when I stop gripping so hard and let things unfold, that perhaps magic has a chance to appear.

So as I look ahead, I’m attempting to hold my work a little more lightly. To show up with presence, curiosity, and openness — and to remember that art, like life, is richer when we allow it to breathe, with less expectation.

One the studio wall today - embracing the beauty in imperfection in life and art

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