Are You an Over Thinker Too?

The Journey of a Creative Mind

By overthinking, I mean the constant inner dialogue that runs in circles inside your head—the one you’d sometimes love to silence. I spend a lot of time alone in the studio, but I rarely feel alone because of that relentless chatter. And now, as I write this, I’m wondering… am I oversharing as well as overthinking? Wow, it’s exhausting!

Lately, I’ve been making a conscious effort to write these thoughts down. I hope that gaining perspective might bring a little peace—at least long enough for me to get some work done. I’m about three-quarters of the way through my current collection of paintings, which will be exhibited next month. So much has gone into this collection—not just hours, days, and weeks of painting, but the emotional and personal weight behind it.

The Weight of Emotion

The truth is, I started these paintings in a less-than-ideal state of mind. I am SO tired. The last 18 months have placed me in the fortunate position of having my work displayed in multiple galleries. However, I had no idea the pressure I would put on myself in this environment. Painting sales have become my sole income. This reality forces me to confront deeply ingrained beliefs about worthiness, identity, and my place in the world. On top of all that, I find myself in a stage of life where I—like so many women—am asking: Who am I now that I don’t need to consider the needs of others before my own?

Transformation is Exhausting

Transformation is exhausting. We are experiencing immense change, both globally and personally. I constantly question my feelings—are they valid, or are they just old patterns I need to unlearn? For me, the hardest work happens in front of the canvas. Just when I think I’ve figured things out—had an epiphany, cracked the code, discovered how I’ll paint forevermore—the universe presents something new, shifting my artistic direction once again. This shift is not necessarily bad, but it certainly challenges me, especially when trying to create a cohesive body of work for an exhibition.

The Battle Between Expectations and Feelings

More often than not, my studio time feels like a battlefield. There’s a constant tension between what I think I should be painting and what I genuinely feel on any given day. It’s a strange mystery—how we know that forcing ourselves into expectations never works, yet we forget time and time again. Eventually, the process becomes unbearable, and we remember once again that true art comes from honest expression.

As in life, acceptance seems to be the only way to find any kind of momentary peace. Listen to your feelings. Listen to your paintings. They will convey what they need. Over the past few days, I’ve accepted that it’s okay for this collection to reflect my inner turmoil. Some days, I focus on beauty. Other days, I crave structure—something that gives me a sense of control. Then, like yesterday, I just want to break every rule and throw myself into wild, free brushstrokes.

The Layers of Creation

The layers of these paintings embody that inner conflict and transformation. Some days, rules are followed. Other days, they are broken. Darkness is punctuated by bursts of light. Structure fades into the background as chaos takes center stage. Yet, through it all, beauty remains—always present, always offering warmth and calm amidst the storm.

Does it matter that this collection no longer looks as I imagined when I started? Not at all. In fact, it would be strange if it did. I rarely feel like the same person from one end of the day to the next—how could I expect my work to stay the same over the course of months? As long as it feels true, that is my mission. My goal is always to share work that carries good energy and light. Above all, it must be honest.

Finding Connection in Creativity

I know I’m deep in my feelings right now. I wonder if my work will resonate with you. I hope it does. Arts, especially paintings, are often a way to connect, even when we feel isolated. The process of creation allows me to explore, heal, and grow. It’s a journey that never really ends, and it evolves as I do.

As artists, we often seek validation not just for our work, but for our emotions and experiences too. That’s why sharing feels like such a powerful act. It opens a door for conversation and connection. So often, we discover that others share similar worries and feelings when we dare to be vulnerable.

The Importance of Vulnerability

Being open about the emotional weight of creativity can be daunting. However, it’s within this vulnerability that we find authenticity. And authenticity can inspire others. It can remind us that we are not alone in our struggles. The phrase "art speaks louder than words" rings true, especially when painting can express what words fail to capture.

As I move forward with this collection, I remain committed to authenticity—both for myself and for those who experience my art. It’s a vital aspect of my process. And I can only hope that this work serves as a mirror, reflecting not just my journey but also resonating with yours.

My studio this morning as I am writing...let the battle commence x